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The Minor Crime at Christmastime

by Chris Page

I heard you slurring Christmas songs To plastic reindeer on the lawn But you make angels sing With Winter hopes of Spring And sprits lifting Snowflakes sting inside my eyes And I can't sing to save my life When its Good King Wenceslas And the crime is senseless Then I'm not dreaming They illuminate my street And throw an empty stare at me So you say Let it slide, let it snow, let it die This Christmastime
It's Christmas to the rescue Burn the malls in tinsel town A wrong turn December And we'll escape the Christmas sounds I'm alone this Christmas To shovel all the snow Think of me and the garland And we can go for Pho You're my rare find this Christmastime Christmas to the rescue Once a year I drink scotch So hold me til the New Year And I won't wear a watch You're my rare find at Christmastime
I saw santa sliding on a cafeteria tray Now I know that's how she probably got away I woke up staring at the ceiling and I hope you understand That I realize I only loved you for your student meal plan Dark rum is good food for Christmas dinner
Ornament 04:40
"On the twenty-fifth of December, 1928 it's a national issue of heaven to the world that it's Jesus's birthday. Some people use the wrong way to celebrate Christmas day. Some people who work every day and draws good money every pay and here is what the same people said I wanna spend my money and have my way. Some people use the wrong way to celebrate Christmas day. While the church is praying on Christmas Day other people are roaming the streets and drinking their soul away. Some people use the wrong way to celebrate Christmas day. "
Come home from the mall and help me kick out the lights!
I heard you slurring Christmas songs!
And just as Shane had said: "We'll never see another one"
Merry Christmas Chris, yourself!


Year 8!

This years addition to the Christmas record is a cover of a super creepy song from the 1920s by Reverend Edward W. Clayborn.

I first heard this song on the amazing compilation 'Where Will You Be This Christmas' put out in 2004 by the amazing Dust To Digital imprint.

I'm not sure if it's the dark lyrics or the drone-y melody that does its best to lure the listener into a trance-like state, but either way, this song has become a bit of an obsession over the years.

The lyrics preach the evils of vices and commercialization of the 1920s!

I would love to know what Reverend Clayborn would think of Christmas here in 2015, almost 100 years later.

You can hear the original here, and be sure to watch the incredibly interesting posters that make up the video.



And what the happy Christmas is this compiliation, anyway?

It's a growing project that I've been adding to each year... and it consists of original, stripped down songs about plastic reindeer, yearly scotch and going for Pho in your snowsuit.

So come home from the mall and help me kick out the lights.

Merry Christmas to all my fave hosers and hosettes.

-- Chris, 2015.


released November 27, 2013

All songs by Chris with the exception of "Ornament" written by my pal Shuyler Jansen (see song description for links and credits). And of course the Reverend Edward W. Clayborn cover!


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Chris Page Ottawa, Ontario

Songwriting for indie garage bands Expanda Fuzz, The Stand GT, Camp Radio, and all these folk songs I strum quietly to myself, just below the din.

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